I came across photos that tells a thousand stories behind while browsing facebook..
and tonight i thought of you

There use to be so much love in it..
yet so much hatred..
sorry is the word..
for having to make the choice..
and right now.. i love another man..
time to put those photos behind..
phuket was a magic.. a place we left our prints together..
and that was all i wish to remember..

right now..
i no longer live under your protection..
Strangers again is our destiny..

im not sure hu he wants to wack! LOL

My most love photo! its the 1st photo together other then the lost polaroid

So much to update~ where should i start from..

09/o9/2011 is the official day we got together..
after a month of dating and the get to know each other better..
he decided to ask me that magic question..
we were on the phone.. and he asked me over the phone..
i couldn't describe how happy i was...
i was waiting all along to get my 100% single status off..
i also couldn't remember when was the last time someone asked me to be their girlfriend..
it's always the *snap fingers* and we are together kind..
but at least it wasn't the same for us...

He often like to ask me.. why i like him? why i so sway choose him..

he was damn dao on my first day of work..
then the ice started to break..
his first question to me was " ehh..heard your bf army one ah"
then we started to talk..
on a sundays working together, we will stand on the staircase and started to talk about our r/s..
when we have the time.. or talk rubbish!
I always like to suan him and laugh it offf at those lame jokes.
and for some reason.. i always complain and share my r/s problem when he comes to work..
take walks to sheng siong and talk about it..

im happy when im with him..like always..
even before things started..
I felt close when he sit close to me..
i felt the warmth when he first held my hand
my heart beats and i have butterfly in my stomach when i knew he will be working
and whenever i miss him..
i'll walk up and down the front stairs..
cos thats the only place i can find his photos there..
sounds so silly.. but thats the way it is.

im always the one talkin n talking..
but in this case.. he loves to talk too.
talking everynight before bed..and he will only stop when he hits his "quota"
and me being the talkative one..slowly learn how to listen..
and i quite enjoyed it..

im tired.. but i miss you..
it sucks to get use to having you sleeping beside..

For the first time in 2 months im having my 2 days off in consecutive..
better then nothing la! although today was wasted to buy the prizes for chalet..
but if not for that i dont even think i will have the ph to claim!

anyways!! i did quite abit of things today..so at least my time wasnt wasted!
woke up at 11... went to the bank to encash my cheque! but how i know only can
encash at OCBC! so i wasted half hour queuing. =S

then i head to granny's place to spend an hour with them!
after which i head to OCBC bank at city link to get everything done..
finally after all the hassel i manage to transfer the money over to my boy..
and then into my own account.

yvonne came after which! hahahaa.. instead of buying things we were happily eating
at thai express.. and bought some clothes at outfitters.. so cheap! 2 for $35.
went mark spencer to get more food FOR OURSELVES! then we headed to carrefour to
get our actual thing done! LOL..

head to zsofi! went to barkode for a drink and then i meet back anson at PS.
and yeaps! its 2 day one night of camping at sembawang! LOL..

played a whole night of dragon nest! feeling sleepy now!
eat whole night somemore.. LOL..fat dao!
i guess this will be the only time before he start work that
i will get to spend a whole day of tmr with him without having to wake up and go work.!
planning to buy paint and pack his room! PURPLE>.LOL..

ok! im tired! and i feel even sleepier listening to songs! LOl..
good night! finally back to the comfy bed! with him beside me.. =)
=DDDDDDDDDDDDD

I haven been really spending time with my grandparents..
And during my off day today.. I decided to head down to their place for lunch..
So much emotions while i left their place..
They gave me a feeling when i left their place..
As if they were asking when is the next time they will see me again..

As usual.. She knew I was coming and she cook a hell lotsa food..
My favourite steam fish.. Some can vege.. Salted egg..
Fried egg and they all goes well w porridage.
Ive enjoyed updating about my life to them over the lunch table..
Watching them laugh n smile over the conversation..
So heart warming...

I promise I'll spend more time with them..

Love them ttm.!

Waiting for bus now at the bus stop.!
Super reluctant to wake up for work todAy..
Even Yvonny also called me to whine about it..

Anson Chua called me last night.!
He told me he going to sleep already..
And so he fell asleep.. Suddenly my phone rang..
He told me he woke up cos he turned to his side
And I wasn't beside him.. Nothing to hug and he jumped up..
And I know how he feel.. Cos that wAs what happened to me this morning..

I dreamt of him.. Then I jumped up trying to find him..
I realize he wasn't beside.. Zzz
For e first time I didn't like my bed..
Did not llike my bolster n pillows..
Cos they wasn't as nice as those at his place..
Slowly getting used to his bed.. His smell and him..
Sigh.. I wan a huggg from him nao..! =(

Alright.. Left w coins inside my wallet..
Die also dun wanna draw money..
Waiting for pay yet still can't get it today..
No sense of urgency.. Everybody gets paid on
The first.. We get it on the 5th.. Yet still delayed..!
Retarded..

It's the 7th day of work.. Another 5 more to go before off day..
Siannnnn max

I like this guy here.. Many many..
I'm beginning to love him a little...

Alright.! For the first time I can feel how Yvonne feel..
And I admit I'm jealous.. Although I know they are only friends but still jealous...
And the Jamie Ive seen so far is a very physical kind of person..
Just dun like la.. Tsk..!

I want to go back to sembawang today.. Stupid boy keep asking whether his bolster going home w him tonight or not..
So now I became a bolster of his.. -_-" but Im planning to go tmr night instead.. Sooo be good girl.. HeAd home today.. Hehe

Lying on my bed.. Tired.. Yet still dun feel like zzz..
Although we just parted.. But I miss him.. =(( miss his hug n kisses to bed..
Gonna bring some vitAmin c tmr for him.. Having flu.. A runny nose.. Haha..

Good morning..!! Good night..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes it's not about when I want to be..
It's more of like.. When will he be ready to take me with him into his life..
If he ain't ready.. I would rather remain like this..
At least it doesn't feel so bad if things dun turn out well..
Im always ready.. And wAiting for youu..
Are you?

People i love @ zsofi tapas bar! <3

im homed! like finally sitting in front of my laptop!
been staying over at his place for the past two days..
brother went for chalet! so i had the whole room to myself.. =)

Work was ok! as usual! except for more meetings to attend.
im officially a stuff of slice! and im the one and only one FYI!
so much to do.. so little time!
so much to learn.. yet im a little scared for the first time..
hmm..

but well.. im happy working now! and thats it..
its not about who we are working with although sometimes it plays a big part..
but its about what we are working for.
i have my objective..
i have my plans..

and right now.. i feel like playing dragon nest!
and i shall head to bed before my parents wakes up! haha..

for the first time in my 22 years.. i heard someone telling me.. " i miss you just now"
ONLY JUST NOW? then you tell me now for what! tsk! still dare to tell me maybe later will miss me when i made noise about it..LOL.

and i guess that boy is sleeping now already. since there isnt any sms or whats app reply..
he'll be working tmr..
like what he say! ya..im happy!! if he doesnt work.. i dunno when will i be seeing him!

i cannot deny that i miss break dancing..
esp with the girls..

Tonight is Surprise no 3..

1st: got his favourite hiro cake from Thomson biscuit king and head to his house while he's still sleeping..
2nd: he said he missed me and I heAd to his place after work..
3rd: he's studying for his last paper.. He said he's hungry.. So I bought prawn noodles n head to his place after work..
I still msg him say.. I'm homed.. Open the door.. Hahaha.!

He was still peeping through his door to see if I really was there lo..
And now I'm lying there playing w my phone.. Watching him study..
At the same time I'm feeling sleepy.! But at least I made him smile... =)

Xoxo..! Anything for his happiness.. Good night..!

I'm on my way to work from sembawang.!
My shoulders are aching damn badly..!
But dunno why I'm looking forwArd to work..

It's left with the 5 of us now from the gang..
Anson's gone.. And soon me n Keng leng will be going over to slice..
Then it will be left with 3 at zsofi.. That's dMn depressing. lol..

I'm gonna stone my way through to novena and play scoops..
That pig broke my record last night while I was sleeping..!!!!!
Grrrrr....

I blogged a whole chunk..n one wrong button I hit on this retarded phone.. All gone.. =(
Shall recall what I wanted to say when I get back home..

His last dAy at zsofi made me recalled what had happened during my 2 months there..
And he had plans about us after he leAve Zsofi..

I'm still waiting...

The next question is.. Is she totally out of his life? Zzzz
Looking at the jumbo lying beside me.. Makes me feel siannnnn half.!

Off today on a ph eve..!! Something rare.. Spent the day at home.. And then spend the evening with Lena van and Xh at cong Qing steamboat.. Talk cock and eat.. But it's been long since we last done that..

And right now I'm sitting in front of the bar, watching him work.. Tmr is his last dAy here.. And I'm sure gonna miss his presence in zsofi tapas bar.. I like the way he look in the bar.. Serious yet attractive.. Cos that's his profession.. And that was what made him caught my eyes on him.. And I still remembered the very day he taught me a little knowledge in the bar with his friend Roy sitting by the bar disturbing.. And that was when I had his number..

Just can't get my eyes off him.. He's like a star to me right here in zsofi.. Be it he's in the bar, or working on the floor.. His cold jokes.. Smile laughter and winks.. And the times we stood by the stairs talking about our relationship and life.. =) not forgetting the walks we took to sheng shiong.. Him hearing me trash about my relationship.. Can't help but smile when tink of them..

Went to geylang serai with the gang.!! it's the first time I'm there during hari raya.. So crowded just like our china town. But nothing to buy.. Except food.. And I'm homed at 5.22am..!

I felt closer.. Much much closer to him now which I feel happy about it.. And for the first time he whisper n tell me I'm pretty today.. Muhahahaha....!! Hehe.. <3

Every little thing about him makes me smile..

突然好想你

I'm on my way to zsofi tapas bar.. Working the 6pm shift..
I only had a one hour break.. And during this one hour break from buona vista to little India, I spent my journey missing him..

不知道为什么满脑子都是你！
看到我们的照片反而跟想你！
可是要到了星期五才可以看到你。=((
残了啦！你的脸可不可以不要出现了？！？

Pissss offff...!!

Feeling woohoo..!

I only had at 2 hour sleep last night.. Slept at 5am woke up at 7.30am.!
And I still didn't want to go to Bed till anson issue his last warning to chase me off to bed..
And right now I'm heading to work at buona vista.. And my day will end only at 2am..

I'm feeling good walking down the street at this time.. Squeezing train with the rest of the working people..
And for some reason I'm in a good mood too.. Haha.. Was on whatsapp with Shawn Jared and Darren.. Was a funny group chat to start the day with.. Talking bout what industry pays more.. Opening tuition centre etc etc.. Say I teach entreprenureship.. Lol..
But I miss hanging out with them lo.. Mo time..

Sitting at the cashier waiting for my queue to start.. Woohoo..! Sure siao one..
Crowd slowly picking up and I'm feeling very sleepy already...

Just done playing dragon nest with him..
LOl.. play untill gan jiong! but it was fun!
at least we have something in common to play! and dota too.. =)

i dunno how to describe my feelings these few days..
because they are damn messed up!
yet at the same time after talking to him about it, i felt better..
and things got better.. at least for last night and today..

It felt closer.. just feels different.
feel a little more cared for.. =)
and the moment he said he missed me just made my day..
he may laughed at me and say.. wah! so easy to man zhu! haha..
but thats how it's supposed to be..

i surprised him last night by appearing at his place after work..
he didnt really showed it out.. but i can feel that it meant something to him..
little actions can mean alot.. esp to the one you love or have something for..

and now do you understand why a hug from you will actually mean alot to me?

for the first time.. i felt im building a relationship with a person..
literally building it from nothing to something..
which feels good.. =)

Today I just feel like ranting my way through here..
I did not slept well.. But I'm feeling damn awake.. And today is one of the days whereby I do not feel like talking at all.. Not at all.. I doubt my face have any expression today also.. So many things in mind.. So Many different kinds of emotions running through my head.. But what to say and how to say?

I'm not even willing to share them with the one sitting next to me in the bus now.. It felt so near yet so far.. It felt like I'm in this alone...
I felt the distance all of a sudden.. All I needed was just a hug.. And words of comfort.. Not from anyone else but from him... The feeling of it's okay.. I have him here and everything would e alright is not there today.. And the more I look at him, the more Im thinking.. What are we? What am I?

Ronnie Sitoh

When strangers crossed path and stories began..
It's another phase of losing another loved ones in life..
It was another painful experience that I've not learnt how to cope ever since paul left us 10years ago..
And right yesterday.. Ronnie left us at 11.25pm..

He fought hard for the past half year.. It was painful but he persevere on..
He wad a great frown I've knew.. A great guy.. A very good someone to talk to when I had problems..
He played the game well.. He fought well.. Just like how he is as a commando..
God has a reason for everything.. And perhaps taking him back is not a bad thing after all..
Releasing his pain.. The pain of his family seeing him through all the therapy..

I'll miss u my friend.. I'll miss Katong lakes session with you..
I'll miss mahjong and your "来自摸" ... I'll miss Ronnie sitoh running on the basketball court..
I'll miss all the hang outs at tpy and around Singapore talking cock..
And the super nice chicken rice ball downstairs your place..
And I'll still laugh about how I lost my socks at your place during the first time we mahjong at ur place..
Although you are not physically with us now..
But u made an impact to each and everyone of ours lifes.
It wont be easy for everyone.. But u believe we'll do well..

Friends are friends always..
Hope we'll meet again wherever whenever it will be..
Rest in peace..!

With lotsa love,

Wanyi

It was a ultimate shag- ness at work.. Lag of man power plus the slamming of the crowd was Xh xxxx..!! I only manage to have my first meal of the day at 12am.. 6.3k worth of sales.. But lucky the whole time during work time pass fast.. And all i look forward to was to seeing him.. I asked him to fetch me off from work.. But we changed the plan to meeting him back at his Place.. But he showed up.. Hahaha.. Feeling damn happy about it.. And I dun even know how hard my heart beats when I saw him walking in the entrance.. =))) even our regular customer Francis saw my expression.. And said I was flirting.. Haha..

Promise to dota after a massage from him.. That was really whT I needed after a whole week of work.

Dota and dragon nesting after shower... And it's 6.30 now.. I'm blogging beside him without him knowing.. Cos he's playing his plant bs zombie:. Going to become zombie le still play.. Haha.!

Hugs were warm.. Kisses were sweet.. Can time just stop here?
I'm heading to bed now.. With him lying right beside me..
Felt So fortunate even though things weren't reAlly in place yet :s

Lovessssss...

Woke up feeling grouchy today cos I know I would not be seeing him today and tmr..
He's busy and stress with project and school.. So just let him be at the moment.. And of cos I miss him..
I woke up twice and called him once and went back to sleep.. Haha..

Went through our what's app and I was laughing about it.. He's been craving for crab for many many days already.. Wanted to cook for him but then sembawang has got no crab.. Lol.. Shall try again so that he won't miss and think of crab more then he think of me.. *jealous*

He ended my night with a smile last night.. I wanted to upload the images of the whatsapp.. But i phone cannot support the upload.. Shall do that when I get back home from work tonight.. But I'm happy to hear and know that he like me more then last time now.. I just want to be there to do things for him and with him.. That's all..

Alright.. I'm on my way to work now.. Feeling hungry and full of misses for him.. I hope work would go well tonight with my girlfriends and bear at work.. =)) and his project will go well too..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you ever call that love.. I'll rather not be loved by you at all..
If you love me.. U wouldn't do that to me.. U've known me for close to 3 years..
And nobody know me at the moment better then you do.. Yet this is what u told people about.. About me!
It was such a disappointment that I can bring myself to not see u at work although you are there.. So much said.. Does it even matter? Everything has ended and nothing is going to change.. The fact is my heart belong to someone now.. And you, is just a past tense to me..
Whatever you have done or did.. Doesn't mAtter anymore..

It was a unforgettable first time..
The first time he did that..
The first time I felt like a child before bed..
Fingers running over my face..
And a light kiss on my cheek before I end my day..

From him.. <3

Uncertainty

In the midst of escaping from 2 mr love me so so much..
which suffocates me quite abit during the terms of relationship with them..
and having to make a choice between them, i choose to leave instead.
cos right there i knew, none of them is my happiness. and i deserve none of them after messing up their live.. from a life without me.. to a life where they have to have me in it..

and right at that lowest point I bump into him..
He who at that point was just a colleague..
He was just a bar tender i enjoy staring at during work..
A someone whom i enjoyed talking rubbish and a little of my problems to..

Lying right here
looking at him doing his habit of biting his fingers..
i smiled to myself..

I asked myself what attracted me to him..
but I've got no answer to that.
he just made me feel simple..
made me feel comfortable near him..
and most of the time.. i laugh and smiled with him around..
and somehow.. seeing him makes ugly things look prettier..
and it made my lousy day slightly better.

but then again, things happened real fast..
that im so unsure about things..
unsure about how he felt towards me.. towards us..
unsure about his feelings for his ex gf..
it felt like things haven really ended in his heart..

where are we heading to?
im still trying to find the answer to it..
while finding.. i shall end this post here because im only left with 5 minutes more before he chase me off to bed again..

i just felt happy..
cos i have him! =)