I'm on my way to work from sembawang.!
My shoulders are aching damn badly..!
But dunno why I'm looking forwArd to work..

It's left with the 5 of us now from the gang..
Anson's gone.. And soon me n Keng leng will be going over to slice..
Then it will be left with 3 at zsofi.. That's dMn depressing. lol..

I'm gonna stone my way through to novena and play scoops..
That pig broke my record last night while I was sleeping..!!!!!
Grrrrr....

I blogged a whole chunk..n one wrong button I hit on this retarded phone.. All gone.. =(
Shall recall what I wanted to say when I get back home..

His last dAy at zsofi made me recalled what had happened during my 2 months there..
And he had plans about us after he leAve Zsofi..

I'm still waiting...

The next question is.. Is she totally out of his life? Zzzz
Looking at the jumbo lying beside me.. Makes me feel siannnnn half.!

Off today on a ph eve..!! Something rare.. Spent the day at home.. And then spend the evening with Lena van and Xh at cong Qing steamboat.. Talk cock and eat.. But it's been long since we last done that..

And right now I'm sitting in front of the bar, watching him work.. Tmr is his last dAy here.. And I'm sure gonna miss his presence in zsofi tapas bar.. I like the way he look in the bar.. Serious yet attractive.. Cos that's his profession.. And that was what made him caught my eyes on him.. And I still remembered the very day he taught me a little knowledge in the bar with his friend Roy sitting by the bar disturbing.. And that was when I had his number..

Just can't get my eyes off him.. He's like a star to me right here in zsofi.. Be it he's in the bar, or working on the floor.. His cold jokes.. Smile laughter and winks.. And the times we stood by the stairs talking about our relationship and life.. =) not forgetting the walks we took to sheng shiong.. Him hearing me trash about my relationship.. Can't help but smile when tink of them..

Went to geylang serai with the gang.!! it's the first time I'm there during hari raya.. So crowded just like our china town. But nothing to buy.. Except food.. And I'm homed at 5.22am..!

I felt closer.. Much much closer to him now which I feel happy about it.. And for the first time he whisper n tell me I'm pretty today.. Muhahahaha....!! Hehe.. <3

Every little thing about him makes me smile..

突然好想你

I'm on my way to zsofi tapas bar.. Working the 6pm shift..
I only had a one hour break.. And during this one hour break from buona vista to little India, I spent my journey missing him..

不知道为什么满脑子都是你！
看到我们的照片反而跟想你！
可是要到了星期五才可以看到你。=((
残了啦！你的脸可不可以不要出现了？！？

Pissss offff...!!

Feeling woohoo..!

I only had at 2 hour sleep last night.. Slept at 5am woke up at 7.30am.!
And I still didn't want to go to Bed till anson issue his last warning to chase me off to bed..
And right now I'm heading to work at buona vista.. And my day will end only at 2am..

I'm feeling good walking down the street at this time.. Squeezing train with the rest of the working people..
And for some reason I'm in a good mood too.. Haha.. Was on whatsapp with Shawn Jared and Darren.. Was a funny group chat to start the day with.. Talking bout what industry pays more.. Opening tuition centre etc etc.. Say I teach entreprenureship.. Lol..
But I miss hanging out with them lo.. Mo time..

Sitting at the cashier waiting for my queue to start.. Woohoo..! Sure siao one..
Crowd slowly picking up and I'm feeling very sleepy already...

Just done playing dragon nest with him..
LOl.. play untill gan jiong! but it was fun!
at least we have something in common to play! and dota too.. =)

i dunno how to describe my feelings these few days..
because they are damn messed up!
yet at the same time after talking to him about it, i felt better..
and things got better.. at least for last night and today..

It felt closer.. just feels different.
feel a little more cared for.. =)
and the moment he said he missed me just made my day..
he may laughed at me and say.. wah! so easy to man zhu! haha..
but thats how it's supposed to be..

i surprised him last night by appearing at his place after work..
he didnt really showed it out.. but i can feel that it meant something to him..
little actions can mean alot.. esp to the one you love or have something for..

and now do you understand why a hug from you will actually mean alot to me?

for the first time.. i felt im building a relationship with a person..
literally building it from nothing to something..
which feels good.. =)

Today I just feel like ranting my way through here..
I did not slept well.. But I'm feeling damn awake.. And today is one of the days whereby I do not feel like talking at all.. Not at all.. I doubt my face have any expression today also.. So many things in mind.. So Many different kinds of emotions running through my head.. But what to say and how to say?

I'm not even willing to share them with the one sitting next to me in the bus now.. It felt so near yet so far.. It felt like I'm in this alone...
I felt the distance all of a sudden.. All I needed was just a hug.. And words of comfort.. Not from anyone else but from him... The feeling of it's okay.. I have him here and everything would e alright is not there today.. And the more I look at him, the more Im thinking.. What are we? What am I?

Ronnie Sitoh

When strangers crossed path and stories began..
It's another phase of losing another loved ones in life..
It was another painful experience that I've not learnt how to cope ever since paul left us 10years ago..
And right yesterday.. Ronnie left us at 11.25pm..

He fought hard for the past half year.. It was painful but he persevere on..
He wad a great frown I've knew.. A great guy.. A very good someone to talk to when I had problems..
He played the game well.. He fought well.. Just like how he is as a commando..
God has a reason for everything.. And perhaps taking him back is not a bad thing after all..
Releasing his pain.. The pain of his family seeing him through all the therapy..

I'll miss u my friend.. I'll miss Katong lakes session with you..
I'll miss mahjong and your "来自摸" ... I'll miss Ronnie sitoh running on the basketball court..
I'll miss all the hang outs at tpy and around Singapore talking cock..
And the super nice chicken rice ball downstairs your place..
And I'll still laugh about how I lost my socks at your place during the first time we mahjong at ur place..
Although you are not physically with us now..
But u made an impact to each and everyone of ours lifes.
It wont be easy for everyone.. But u believe we'll do well..

Friends are friends always..
Hope we'll meet again wherever whenever it will be..
Rest in peace..!

With lotsa love,

Wanyi

It was a ultimate shag- ness at work.. Lag of man power plus the slamming of the crowd was Xh xxxx..!! I only manage to have my first meal of the day at 12am.. 6.3k worth of sales.. But lucky the whole time during work time pass fast.. And all i look forward to was to seeing him.. I asked him to fetch me off from work.. But we changed the plan to meeting him back at his Place.. But he showed up.. Hahaha.. Feeling damn happy about it.. And I dun even know how hard my heart beats when I saw him walking in the entrance.. =))) even our regular customer Francis saw my expression.. And said I was flirting.. Haha..

Promise to dota after a massage from him.. That was really whT I needed after a whole week of work.

Dota and dragon nesting after shower... And it's 6.30 now.. I'm blogging beside him without him knowing.. Cos he's playing his plant bs zombie:. Going to become zombie le still play.. Haha.!

Hugs were warm.. Kisses were sweet.. Can time just stop here?
I'm heading to bed now.. With him lying right beside me..
Felt So fortunate even though things weren't reAlly in place yet :s

Lovessssss...

Woke up feeling grouchy today cos I know I would not be seeing him today and tmr..
He's busy and stress with project and school.. So just let him be at the moment.. And of cos I miss him..
I woke up twice and called him once and went back to sleep.. Haha..

Went through our what's app and I was laughing about it.. He's been craving for crab for many many days already.. Wanted to cook for him but then sembawang has got no crab.. Lol.. Shall try again so that he won't miss and think of crab more then he think of me.. *jealous*

He ended my night with a smile last night.. I wanted to upload the images of the whatsapp.. But i phone cannot support the upload.. Shall do that when I get back home from work tonight.. But I'm happy to hear and know that he like me more then last time now.. I just want to be there to do things for him and with him.. That's all..

Alright.. I'm on my way to work now.. Feeling hungry and full of misses for him.. I hope work would go well tonight with my girlfriends and bear at work.. =)) and his project will go well too..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you ever call that love.. I'll rather not be loved by you at all..
If you love me.. U wouldn't do that to me.. U've known me for close to 3 years..
And nobody know me at the moment better then you do.. Yet this is what u told people about.. About me!
It was such a disappointment that I can bring myself to not see u at work although you are there.. So much said.. Does it even matter? Everything has ended and nothing is going to change.. The fact is my heart belong to someone now.. And you, is just a past tense to me..
Whatever you have done or did.. Doesn't mAtter anymore..

It was a unforgettable first time..
The first time he did that..
The first time I felt like a child before bed..
Fingers running over my face..
And a light kiss on my cheek before I end my day..

From him.. <3

Uncertainty

In the midst of escaping from 2 mr love me so so much..
which suffocates me quite abit during the terms of relationship with them..
and having to make a choice between them, i choose to leave instead.
cos right there i knew, none of them is my happiness. and i deserve none of them after messing up their live.. from a life without me.. to a life where they have to have me in it..

and right at that lowest point I bump into him..
He who at that point was just a colleague..
He was just a bar tender i enjoy staring at during work..
A someone whom i enjoyed talking rubbish and a little of my problems to..

Lying right here
looking at him doing his habit of biting his fingers..
i smiled to myself..

I asked myself what attracted me to him..
but I've got no answer to that.
he just made me feel simple..
made me feel comfortable near him..
and most of the time.. i laugh and smiled with him around..
and somehow.. seeing him makes ugly things look prettier..
and it made my lousy day slightly better.

but then again, things happened real fast..
that im so unsure about things..
unsure about how he felt towards me.. towards us..
unsure about his feelings for his ex gf..
it felt like things haven really ended in his heart..

where are we heading to?
im still trying to find the answer to it..
while finding.. i shall end this post here because im only left with 5 minutes more before he chase me off to bed again..

i just felt happy..
cos i have him! =)